There are hundreds of methods available to help you predict football results for personal gain… but NONE AS RELIABLE as GNG’s copyright Focus method.
Mum’s lucky numbers. Expert telly pundits. Mathematical form guides. Celebrity ex-players with big opinions. Gypsy’s tealeaves. Recently deceased octopuses. All blown away for good by THE FOCUS METHOD, which has NEVER ONCE FAILED to predict a big-match result.
The key to any football result lies in vibrations from the past – in complex historic patterns, in the psychology of the conflict, and in the deep-lying personality of the competing clubs and players.
WHO WILL WIN the biggest Manc derby of the century, the Premier League decider? TO DIVINE THE FUTURE, we first need to UNDERSTAND THE PAST.
REPRESENTING MANCHESTER CITY, big-hearted up-and-downer GARY OWEN… in a battle of wills against MANCHESTER UNITED FIGUREHEAD, flying student winger STEVE COPPELL.
Favourite TV Shows: Coppell likes sensible grown-up news programme Horizon, plus war films and The Waltons. He’s booted straight out of the park by Owen’s favourite flared bad-boy cop show The Sweeney, prison laughs with Porridge and man of a million faces Mike Yarwood.
IT’S ONE-NIL TO CITY!
Most Difficult Opponent: It’s Wrexham left-back David Fogg (Coppell) set against the heart-rending admission that “they’re all difficult” (Owen). No score.
Best Country Visited: Japan is the exotic choice for City, but ex-Liverpool Uni boffin Steve lets himself down with Western Australia, which isn’t even a country but a state!
TWO-NIL TO CITY JUST BEFORE HALF-TIME!
Car: Avenger up against Escort Popular. Both pretty crap.
Miscellaneous Dislikes: Owen’s gardening and long coach journeys are indeed bad news, but the fleet-footed Scouser cuts inside and comes good with a personal nightmare of shopping and traffic jams.
UNITED PULL ONE BACK. TWO-ONE TO CITY!
Which Person in the World Would You Most Like to Meet: Coppell: inevitably, it’s Muhammad Ali. But then Gazza blows it with a shameless copycat response: Muhammad Ali. Just not good enough.
IT’S ALL SQUARE – AND WE’RE INTO INJURY TIME!
Best Friend: Owen goes for City winger and famed ‘Football Trainer’ endorsee Peter Barnes. It’s a powerful tactic. Just when Coppell had been hoping to show off his love of Cat Stevens and Faye Dunaway, he blows it with a poorly judged response to the mate-related poser. ‘Many,’ he says – perhaps a trifle optimistically.
IT’S THREE-TWO TO CITY! THEY’VE NICKED IT!
MAN CITY TO WIN THE BIG MATCH ON MONDAY
THE FOCII HAVE SPOKEN
AND YOU CAN STICK YOUR HOUSE ON IT!
Football Book of the Year shortlisted ‘Got, Not Got’ – slashed to £12.99 post free on Amazon, where you can even take a sneak peek inside. Check the ‘Press Page’ tab above for reviews…
Got, Not Got 
sorry to disagree JImmy ( maybe a beard flea was wreaking havoc) but indded Stevie went the whole 3.2 metres (it s metric here in WESTERN AUSTRALIA) with his long range intellectual answer of Western Australia. He provided more detail in that answer (western AND Australia) and dare I say it – probably too much for the average shoot reader. So in fact I believe it was level at 1 all at the break – or should we ask for goal line technology to sort it out !!!
PS – fantastic article ..
Sorry Stewpot, the ball may not have crossed the line but must respect the ref’s decision!
Er, and i think it might be a territory, not a state…